Deserving

Deserving, deserved, deserves.

What’s it all mean? Well I believe the term has no definition within those enlightened, evolved and emancipated. Here’s why:
The entire concept of ‘deserve’ relies on two fundamental premises:
1) Societies cannot truly succeed in anarchy
2) The only reliable method to control another’s actions is to convince them of negative consequences resulting from undesirable actions taken.

The concept of who deserves what is really solely dependent on the environment in which an individual was raised and the beliefs that were adopted. Therefore, the only portion of ‘deserve’ is within those people and their interpretation of their upbringing and personal beliefs. Now, in most societies, there will be a ‘norm’ of these ‘deservings’, but only because the ‘norm’ includes the majority of people brought into the same or similar beliefs.

In the measurement of two very devastatingly opposite extremes, we can examine the religious orders that follow a supreme being, such as Christians, Buddhists, or other similar religions that aspire to become similar in actions and faith as their Deity. Their teachings encourage individuals’ behavior to be that which is rewarded by an afterlife or ascension to a higher existence and understanding. Similarly, the religions also have a result for behavior that is antithetical to these teachings and negative consequences that will result. Hell and purgatory are such examples.

However, to the other extreme, we can examine societies, large and small, that are oppositional to these concepts in application but similar in result. Such an example on a large scale is nazi (left uncapitalized to withhold even an iota of respect) Germany – the atrocities performed against humanity of Jews, blacks, homosexuals, Catholics etc. were performed as a part of a grand plan of good, at least in the nazi-ish religious belief.

So there is my example of two oppositional belief systems. Now, in those two extreme societies, what someone ‘deserved’ would be extremely different if the act were the same. In the Christian example, killing 100 Jews would be a mortal sin, and the religious belief would dictate that without penance, condemnation of the killer’s soul to hell for eternity would result. HOWEVER, in nazi Germany, the killer may receive a medal and be perceived as a warrior among his peers.

Therefore, based on these examples, obviously there is no common thread of what is ‘deserved’; it is merely a concept promoted among each society (religious or otherwise) or group to attempt to create a model of behavior.

BUT nowadays people are draining themselves, they are preventing their own successes, they are condemning their relationships and sabotaging all things that could be great in their life, why?? Because they ‘don’t deserve it'. These 3 words are the basis for some of the worst atrocities of lost talent and gifts to the world.

Most of us were taught this. Okay, not all of our parents told us “you don’t deserve this” BUT the same essence results when we are taught how we should be and how we will go to hell for horrible thoughts, or that breaking the 10 commandments makes you a horrible being. Why were WE taught this? Because our parents and caretakers were taught that AND they were TAUGHT to TEACH others.

Now, please realize that I am NOT condemning religion – I’m not. I am personally very religious and spiritual, BUT just like great parents can teach bad lessons accidentally, religions can teach bad lessons too. Additionally, I DO believe that the 10 commandments and the tenets of mainstream religions share the commonality of doing right by others. And this is extremely important because I’m just pointing out how some of the results were unintended.

Furthermore, ONLY realize I am making a point of these extreme examples because they ARE extreme and obvious; there are many more similar resulting circumstances that ‘teach’ children similar concepts of ‘deserve’, such as abusive parents, spouses, criminals, etc.

Example: A little girl is walking with her parents in a park. She is ecstatic because she is rarely out with her parents together, and seldom are the parents ever happy or nice at the same time or to each other. Everyone in the park is enjoying the day. The little girl slips and falls down a hill, cuts her knee open, and they have to go back home. Well, on the way home? Her father says to the little girl, “you ruin EVERYTHING”. And of course, the girl cries.

Well, this example occurred to a dear friend of mine nearly 30 years ago, and she will never forget it. This day in the park is merely one of the many instances in which the father’s sentiment was conveyed to her. And so, today at 35 years old, she expects nothing good to happen, and when something bad happens, she blames herself as the ultimately responsible party – because she was disrespectful to her parents, and so this is punishment. Or that she was unkind in thought to another person – punishment again. On and on it goes.

People are no different usually, just to different levels perhaps, but we ALL have a concept of what we ‘deserve’ and we let it impact us in the worst ways possible. And we’ve got to stop it.

Are you getting my point?

Think about it – it’s true. For people who have a conscience and a credo of how they think they should live life and how they think they should treat people, follow it without failure of attempt, there should be no ‘deserve’ at ALL. Not even an understood definition.

And if you want additional proof? Ask yourself and others to determine why someone close to you deserved to be robbed, mugged, or worse yet, murdered. Or how Wall Street bankers who consciously do underhanded dealings that are innocent of lawbreaking but guilty of conscience, how they deserve to be wealthy to ridiculous levels.

The message is there is no ‘deserved’ applied by society; by our supreme being, yes, and He (or She) will apply those consequences at a later time.

YOU determine what YOU deserve – no one else.

-Dave Jones